After I read the most recent article by our own Mark Newman about the January 1st launch of the MLB Network, I started counting the hours. Blogging day and night about baseball is fun, but watching baseball 24/7 is huge. Seriously. It’s frightening how excited I am.
For starters, I’m in love with two of their on-air analysts.
Sorry. I exaggerate. I like Harold Reynolds. He’s fair and balanced, as they say on another network.
And I like Al Leiter. He’s good at explaining the difference between a circle change and a knuckle curve. Or whatever.
And how about the Opening Night of programming on the MLB Network? They’re showing this for the first time in 52 years.
Yep, Don Larsen’s perfect game against the Brooklyn Dodgers in the 1956 World Series. Yankee fan or no Yankee fan, I’m not about to miss that.
And now for the bad news.
It’s clear that MLB will ruin my life with this cable channel of theirs, because I’ll get hooked on it and lose the capacity to function responsibly in society.
I’ll turn into one of these.
I’ll never get any work done.
I’ll become a complete slacker around the house.
I won’t even bother to make the bed
or clean the windows
or water the lawn.
My husband will divorce me.
My friends will forget about me.
I’ll gain an incredible amount of weight.
And my mean next-door neighbor will pound on my door and yell this at me.
Will I still tune in for the debut of the MLB Network on January 1st, knowing the consequences?
Yes. I. Will.