There’s a DC-10 Flying Over My Head


This was pretty much the view outside my window last night. It would be kind of scenic except that my “posh celebrity enclave,” as the New York Post calls it, was burning.
Yes, it’s true that we have famous people living here.
O’s house hasn’t been damaged so far and she’s not here anyway. She’s probably in Chicago with the other O.
Rob Lowe wasn’t home either.
Haven’t heard about Jeff Bridges’ house.
As for me, the least known person in all of Montecito, I didn’t evacuate because the winds shifted and spared my house. This morning at the press conference, the local officials announced that we were getting military-type fire tankers to drop water on the nearly 3,000 acres and hundreds of structures that are burning. I can hear one of the planes right now. Rrrrrrrmmmm. (It doesn’t sound like that, but I’m totally sleep deprived.)
Ahnold, our Governator, has been going around comforting people, although he hasn’t comforted me or even attempted to hug me.
I’m waiting to see what happens later today, when the winds are supposed to pick up again, before deciding whether to grab my Yankees T-shirts, caps and bobble head dolls and get out of town. The question is…Where to go?
Do you think A-Rod has a spare room in his Manhattan apartment?
Or maybe I could camp out in some empty office at Steinbrenner Field in Tampa?
Or I could check into one of these.
No, wait! Thanks to the miraculous trade that happened yesterday, I have another option! I could stay with our newest Yankee, who looks thrilled by the idea!
So what if he’s a .219 hitter who’s not even close to being the Gold Glove first baseman I had hoped for. If he’s got a sofa, a TV and a well-stocked wine cellar (and maid service), I’m there. 
More on Mr. Swisher when I’m not dodging flames.


  1. juliasrants

    Jane, I am so glad you are safe and that your home was spared! I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers and yes, as difficult as it is for a Red Sox fan to say it, make sure your Yankee shirts are packed up so you can grab them quickly if you have to leave. And don’t worry – the members of Red Sox Nation are generous and we can find you a place to stay!

  2. Greg

    Good to hear that your home has been spared for now. Hopefully they’ll get it under control soon and you won’t have to worry anymore.

    Also, it is probably a good thing that Arnold didn’t hug you, with his past and all.

    Red Sox Ramblings:

  3. Jane Heller

    Thanks for the good thoughts, Julia and Greg. Just shows that Red Sox fans and Yankee fans can come together when it counts! Your generosity is much appreciated.

    And thanks, Jeremy, for your comment. Some snow flurries would be great right now. It’s really hot here and more high winds are expected for tonight. Blogging is taking my mind off the reality of the situation, so while I have electricity I’ll keep posting.

  4. Jane Heller

    Mark, it’s great to know I have a community of people who are following the fire and sending good thoughts. I have two close friends whose houses have burned to the ground and lost everything. The smell from the smoke and ash is so bad that the fire and rescue people are giving out masks for us to wear, even inside the house. BUT I have my trusty laptop, so until they tell us to leave tonight, I’m here.

  5. Kylie

    My God. I’m so glad you’re safe. I hadn’t heard a thing about the fire so I looked it up on Google News–dayum. I hope everything stays okay.
    It kind of reminds me of the hurricane–standing on the roof looking out at black clouds rolling our way, then sleeping on the floor behind a chair so I wouldn’t get hit if the windows blew in. I just hope you’re not out of power for almost two weeks like we were.
    Kylie —

  6. yankeesfan2009

    OK Jane Im sending you a bag of marshmellows and my favorite stick. But on a serious note Im glad your safe. Check out this weeks pretend trade senerio on my blog I want to hear your opinion.

    The yankees guy

  7. Kaybee

    Keep safe! Living in San Diego, I definitely can understand what you’re going through. Thankfully the fires have never been close to me, but there’s always that possibility. What I’m wondering is, why is it so hot near the end of November? I’ll be praying for you guys!

  8. Jane Heller

    Thanks, Jeff. I haven’t had a chance to check RSBS in the last couple of days and I miss it.

    Hey, Kylie. I’m just listening to the press conference now and they said we’ll probably lose power tonight. The wires are melting! But hopefully it won’t be for too long.

    Kaybee, I remember the San Diego fires from last fire season very well. Totally scary. I figured all the red flag warnings would be over by mid-November but here we are. Thanks for the prayers.

  9. Jane Heller

    Some crack reporter I am. I was just alerted to the fact that Rob Lowe was, indeed, home when the fire hit last night. My bad!

  10. levelboss

    “The question is…Where to go?”

    how about getting a luxury suite at the new Yankee Stadium? they’re on sale for only $599,999.99

  11. Jane Heller

    Nah, not interested in a luxury suite, levelboss, since they don’t have the gold microphone or the phone that goes straight to the dugout.

    You’re offering to put me up at your place, Prince? Will I get your signature lasagna?



    Glad you survived the fire. But unless we sign Teixiera, our firstbase situation could go up in flames. When you’re out chewing the fat with Rob Lowe on the helicopter pad, what’s the sense you get about the Swisher deal?

    El Duque

  13. Jane Heller

    Rob Lowe and I had a very long chat about Swisher while we were trying to beat back the flames, El Duque. Rob’s not into baseball, he confessed, but he knows a rotten deal when he reads about one. He agreed with me: We’re stuck with yet another first baseman (hypen) outfielder. Haven’t we learned our lesson with Morgan Ensberg and Shelley Duncan, two other first basemen (hyphen) outfielders? Especially when we’ve got Posada, a first baseman (hyphen) catcher, waiting in the wings? Teixeira has a Gold Glove, not a hyphen, and I want him, not Swisher.

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