As everyone knows, Joe came back to New York for his annual fundraiser. It was held at Manhattan’s Pier Sixty, Chelsea Piers.
Very swanky establishment and the perfect spot to honor the 1998 World Champion Yankees. A good cause. Good food. And really good only so-so musical talent.
Some guests skipped the red carpet. Others were happy to pose for the cameras.
Looks very friendly and festive, doesn’t it? What you don’t know is what went on during the party, so I’m going to tell you. It wasn’t all man hugs and air kisses.
First, an actress who had earlier in the day gone off her Zoloft threw a hissy over not being seated at Jeter’s table.
Yep, Dr. Melfi. She’s a Yankee she-fan, God love her, but she got pretty rowdy.
Another famous she-fan threw her martini in Willie Randolph’s face when he said he wouldn’t manage the Yankees if his life depended on it.
That Penny. Such a firebrand. I’m praying she’ll option my book and direct the movie, but she needs to simmer down.
David Cone and Joe Girardi were like two mean girls, laughing snidely when they heard David Wells say he wants to be a coach.
Well, the idea is sort of ludicrous.
Andy Pettitte was downright livid that all those two could talk about was Sabathia.
“I’m sittin’ here waiting for the Yankees to call but the phone doesn’t ring. Everybody’s too busy goin’ on and on about CC,” he told me in that cute Texas drawl of his. “It’s not fair, y’all. I’m way better than that guy.”
I was in the midst of consoling him when Jeter motioned me over to his table.
“Don’t listen to Andy,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. “He’s just jealous because I’ve been talking to CC, trying to recruit him, even offering him the name of my tailor so he won’t have to shop at those cheesy big and tall men stores anymore.”
Who knew Jeter was so catty, right?
Speaking of fighting, along came a couple who caused a commotion with their heated argument.
It was over whether Jorge’s surgically repaired shoulder will be 100% on Opening Day. Laura Posada said her husband should at least consider playing first base, but JoPo went wild at the idea, shouting: “I’m a catcher! I don’t want to learn a new position! Got it?” We all got it, Jorge. Just chill.
Mariano Rivera also talked about his surgery when I caught up with him at his table.
But – and I found this highly surprising, given Mo’s usually calm demeanor – he was barking at a waiter that his dinner wasn’t prepared the way he’d ordered it. I guess now that he has his own restaurant, he’s gotten temperamental about such things.
There were other disturbances. El Duque high-kicked a passing tray of hors d’oeuvres right onto the floor. Yogi cracked a joke that made James Lipton, the host of “Inside the Actors Studio,” choke on a breadstick. And Mike Francesa and Chris Russo, pretending to get along during the early part of the evening, eventually stabbed each other with their forks. Both were taken to an area hospital and are said to be in stable condition.
Whew. Glad I made it out of there in one piece.
Seriously, Joe’s foundation is a worthy cause. So if anyone feels inspired to donate, click here.