Trick or Treat

Just came back from stalking the neighborhood in my Halloween costume (I was Jeanie Zelasco), and everywhere I went I got the same question: “Are the Yankees really getting Manny?” It was nonstop!
Not only that, you should have seen all the kids. Oh, sure. There were a few Sarah Palins. But every other costume was Manny – different versions of Manny.
I saw a Rookie Manny.
I saw a couple of Clean Cut Mannys.
I saw a Blonde Kevin Millar Manny.
I saw a Beauty Salon Manny.
I saw a Dodgers Dreadlocks Manny.
And I saw a Short Curly Locks Manny.
Yes, Manuel Aristides Ramirez Oneleida (did you know he had another last name?) was all over the neighborhood. Hank Steinbrenner told the Associated Press today that Manny was a possible option for the Yanks (along with every other free agent), and his words had a ripple effect all the way across the country to California.
Will the Manster, indeed, end up in the Bronx? I say absolutely not. We don’t need a mediocre outfielder who’s 36 years old and will cost a fortune. We don’t need a troublemaker who will shove our traveling secretary. We don’t need someone who says he hates the spotlight. We don’t need a player who fakes injuries. And we really don’t need a father with two sons named Manny, because it’s much too confusing for our media relations department.
So it’ll be NO to Manny for the above reasons and others too numerous to mention.
Of course, I predicted the Rays would win the World Series.


  1. Jane Heller

    I feel the exact same way, Jimmy. The Yankees don’t need that kind of drama. They need to focus on upgrading. It’s good to see you back on the blog again, btw!

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