There is breaking news out of Yankeeville. No, A-Rod didn’t opt in or out of his contract or have Scott Boras announce that he’s marrying Madonna. It was Joba who upstaged the proceedings. Seems he was driving his BMW down a Lincoln, Nebraska highway at 1 a.m. and – surprise! – he was drunk! When the police pulled him over for speeding, they discovered alcohol on his breath and an open “container” of booze on the passenger seat (hope it wasn’t that cheap wine that comes in a box – euww). So while we were all watching baseball and cursing out TBS, young Mr. Chamberlain was being arrested for a DUI.
The cops haven’t released the mug shot yet, so this will have to do.
O.K. On to tonight’s game. The Rays were feeble – like a different club after having been slapped down to earth on Thursday night. Beckett, who was not the dominating pitcher of old, was still good enough to flatten their offense. (What’s with that white pendant he always wears? It looks like a Life Alert thingie from the commercial where the old lady goes, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”) And the Ray’s pen continued to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Can they regroup and beat the Red Sox tomorrow? I doubt it. I’m predicting an all-red World Series, which will require us to adjust the contrast on our TVs.
Back to Joba. I’m sure he’s too busy arranging bail and apologizing to Cashman to be sitting in his holding cell reading my blog. But if he is, indeed, reading it, here’s a little clip that just might sober him up.