Shedding Tears for the Dodgers

My adopted team lost tonight. No, it would be more accurate to say they gave the game away. When your shortstop makes three errors in the same inning (two on the same play), it’s bad. And when your non-Manny hitters can’t hit, it’s death. The end. Goodbye. I’d congratulate the Phillies but I don’t know them very well yet, except for Cole Hamels, who is handsome and can pitch; I wish the Yankees had him, in the same way I wish the Yankees had everyone who’s good.
I’m genuinely sorry that Joe and Donnie aren’t going to the World Series, but they’re not in pinstripes anymore so I’m not suicidal sorry.
Besides, there IS something to be joyful about….
Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce, she and A-Rod don’t have to sneak around her apartment building anymore. She’ll sing to him and teach him about the Kabbalah and feed him nutritious, vegetarian meals, and he’ll be so happy he’ll hit 74 homers next season, drive in 200 runs and win the MVP again.
Come on, we all need something to look forward to after our adopted teams get bounced from the playoffs.


  1. Kylie

    Aah, sigh. I do love me some Cole Hamels. Except they just had to interview him yesterday after the game–that was just dumb. Seriously. Nobody needs to hear him talk.
    Haha, I love your scenario. For your own personal sanity, I hope it works.
    Kylie —

  2. Greg

    Speaking of A-Rod, did you see that stat last night that Shane Victorino’s 11 RBI’s in 8 games are more than A-Rod’s total postseasn RBIs in 24 post season games with the Pinstripes?

    Those MVPs are nice though, Shane doesn’t have any of those.

    Red Sox Ramblings:

  3. Jane Heller

    OK, Kylie. You can have Cole Hamels. I’ll take….Chase Utley. He’s not bad either.

    Hey, Greg. No, I didn’t hear the stat comparing Victorino to A-Rod in the postseason. All I’ve been hearing about is the mysterious lack of pop in the bat of David Oritz 🙂

    Your mother’s a Brit, Paul? Bloody good. And blimey too!

  4. Greg

    Yeah, but I can’t complain about Ortiz with all that he has done since coming to the Sox and playing with a bad wrist that may end up needing surgery.

    I think it is quite obviousl that Ortiz and Beckett are both playing at less than 100% full health.

    But, any time a shot a A-Rod can be taken, you gotta take it. Haha.

    Red Sox Ramblings:

  5. Jane Heller

    Red Sox fans always take shots at A-Rod. It’s one of the things I’ll never really understand. It was the Red Sox that tried to pry him away from the Rangers and he was willing to take less money to go to Boston. Do people forget that? Or is it about the Arroyo hand slapping thing/fight with Varitek? Enlighten me, please! We Yankee fans take shots at him all the time, but we do it with LUV.

  6. Jane Heller

    Don’t cry, Jeff. It’ll be OK. But let’s not jump the gun. The Rays haven’t won anything yet. I do think there would be WAY too much red if the WS contenders were Sox-Phillies. Everybody would jump up to fix the contrast on their TVs.


    My money’s on the Rays. There’s no choke to them. As for A-Rod, I do hope he comes strong next season. It could be a long 10 years for him if he doesn’t start hitting like his 2007 self tells us he could.

  8. steve_t

    Jane, the good news is you get to show your LUV of A-Rod for 9 more seasons. What a stupid, stupid signing. The guy’s great now, but will he still be worth $27 million (or more with incentives) after age 38? after age 40? at 42?
    I’ve got a feeling the boos will reign down on the new Yankee Stadium (with luv) for the next decade.

    And the reasons we hate A-Rod? 1. Envy – he was almost ours and then he went to NY of all places! Kinda the reverse of the way you guys embraced Johnny Damon after booing him for four consecutive years in Boston. This was the guy who put the final nail in the Yanks 2004 coffin, after all. And yet, in the spring of 2006, the NY fans are gleefully role-calling “John-ny Da-mon!”
    2. The Slap Play.
    3. The Varitek fight.
    4. Opting out of his contract DURING the 2007 World Series.

    Other than that, he’s a great guy.

    Steve T.

  9. Tucker Elliot

    Hi Jane — I was pulling for the Dodgers as well. Really, I wanted to see Don Mattingly get a ring as a coach since he never got one as a player — but hey, you have to jump on board with the Rays now, right???

    And 74 homers for A-Rod, surely you weren’t taking a subtle shot at Bonds now were you???

    Good stuff . . .

    — David

  10. Jane Heller

    The Rays don’t seem like chokers, respectjetersgangster, but I would never count the Sox out. I’m still traumatized by ’04.

    Steve, thanks for shedding light on the Hate A-Rod thing. I totally get it now. After all, Yankee fans still boo Kevin Millar, so who are we to judge 🙂 As for having A-Rod for 9 more seasons, I wouldn’t have made that deal. But given the shape he keeps himself in, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s still productive at 40+.

    I’m sad for Mattingly, David, and hoped the Dodgers would make it to the WS. But maybe Donnie will come back to the Yankees one of these days and win it in pinstripes. It wouldn’t surprise me. He doesn’t strike me as someone who holds grudges. And yeah, that 74 homers for A-Rod comment was a shot at Bonds. Glad someone noticed!


    Hi Jane, well, it’s really over, isn’t it? I’ve been stocking up on baseball books so now I can fill in the holes in my very short time as a Yankee fan. Just finished Moneyball by James Wright. Next, Roger Kahn, the Boys of Summer, then The Last Night of the Yankee Dynasty by Buster Olney. Also, George F. Will’s Men at Work looks good.

    I did read The Code–Baseball’s Unwritten Rules and Its Ignore at Your Own Risk Code of Conduct by Ross Bernstein over the summer. Somewhat repetitive, but I learned a lot.

    I hope you will be busy planning your book tour and am looking forward to reading YOUR book! See you in New York!


  12. Jane Heller

    Wow, Janet. You’re not kidding about immersing yourself in Yankee fandom and baseball in general. May I also recommend Emperors and Idiots by the NY Post’s Mike Vaccaro? If you want to be up to speed on the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry, you should check it out.

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