Small Ball Losers

Actually, what the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim demonstrated tonight against the Red Sox was too-small ball. They couldn’t catch the ball (I’m talking about you, Mr. Blinded-by-the-Lights, Gary Matthews Jr). They couldn’t hit the ball (I’m talking about you, Mr. 0-for-4, Chone Figgins). And they couldn’t run the bases (I’m talking about YOU, Mr. I-Should-Have-Been-Lifted-for-a-Pinch-Runner, Vladie Guerrero).

Oh, Vlad. What happened to you? You used to be so trim and athletic when you were with Montreal.

Then you moved to the Angels and fell for their nachos with cheese, I guess. Now look at you. So porky.

What’s more, you made such a bonehead move, trying to go to third on Hunter’s pop-up. Haven’t you ever seen THIS?
That’s what your coach was telling you to do if you’d bothered to look. Oh, well. The rally monkey doesn’t really have magical powers, does it.
Yes, of course I grudgingly tip my cap to Jon Lester for an outstanding performance. And to Manny Ramirez Jason Bay for driving in those handy runs.
Speaking of Jason, there’s one more thing I’d like to get off my chest tonight. In TBS’s pre-game coverage of Dodgers-Cubs, Dennis Eckersley said on national TV that Manny was a “bad guy” and Bay was a “good guy.” Is that was a color commentator is supposed to do before a major league baseball playoff game? Engage in character assassination?
It’s true that Manny shoved the Red Sox’s traveling secretary and slapped Youkilis in the dugout (or maybe I have these backwards and he shoved Youkilis and slapped the traveling secretary). And far be it from me to stick up for even a former Red Sock. But maybe, Dennis, you shouldn’t be throwing stones. I seem to remember you had “issues” of your own.
And so we move on to Day 2 of the division series tomorrow after the Phillies, Dodgers and Red Sox won their games today. Will the Rays handle the White Sox or vice versa? Honestly? I just wish the Yankees were in it.


  1. steve_t

    I have to admit it seems strange with no Yankees in October.
    But the world champs are at it again! The Red Sox showed their stuff last night and extended their win streak to 10 straight against Anaheim. Eck’s a color commentator, not a play-by-play guy, and as such he can get away with saying controversial things. That’s why he’s on the broadcast with those dishwater-dull commentators. You could be Charles Manson and if comparing squeaky-clean Jason Bay to shooting-his-way-out-of-town Manny Ramirez, you’d be correct in calling Bay the good guy. I’ll always appreciate Manny’s greatness and I still miss his goofy, carefree, pre-Boras persona, but the way he left town is flat-out unforgivable. Honestly, how disruptive must he have been to have the Sox pay the Dodgers to take one of the greatest hitters ever off their hands?

    Steve T.

  2. PAUL

    An interesting thing abut Vlad: while in Montreal and when he moved to LA, he lived with his mother. I’m assuming he still does. She cooks for him and takes care of his business. I don’t think he likes much attention or having to think about too much other than playing ball.

  3. Greg

    Eck is on NESN (Red Sox version of YES) all season, and said the same thing about Manny during that whole debacle and trade and such. It is strange seeing him on National coverage, though.

    Anyway, Vlad looks like the oldest 32 year old I’ve seen.

  4. Greg

    Eck is on NESN (Red Sox version of YES) all season, and said the same thing about Manny during that whole debacle and trade and such. It is strange seeing him on National coverage, though.

    Anyway, Vlad looks like the oldest 32 year old I’ve seen. He looks like he is 42.

    Red Sox Ramblings:

  5. redstatebluestate

    What a great pic of Manny with Eck embedded on his ‘bad’ guy helmet! I love that Eck hasn’t changed his look in 20 years (except for all the hair dye)… so I give him a pass. He’s way more interesting than Cal and I love me some Cal.

  6. Jane Heller

    Steve, so you’re comparing Eck to Charles Manson? I bet he’d love that. But I take your point about the dishwater-dull commentators on TBS. I was at the ALDS games last year so I missed their first year of coverage. Man, was it ever bad – from the play-by-play to the camera work. Just BAD.

    Paul, you seem to be saying that Vlad is just being Vlad. Sounds very Manny-ish but without the bad guy-ness.

    Greg, I think Vlad has aged a lot. (Paul: What IS his mother cooking for him?) He may have a good arm in right, but there’s a reason they used Matthews for defensive purposes (only to have him lose that ball in the lights).

    Jeff, can’t argue with the fact that Eck is more interesting than anybody else at that table. They almost put me to sleep, although I can’t take my eyes off Cal’s eyes. I can’t decide if they’re beautiful or straight from “The Exorcist?”

  7. Kylie

    Just to clarify, Cal’s eyes are mesmerizing. They are, like, California-sky blue. You’re not the only one, darling.
    I would think that, especially on neutral national coverage, broadcasters would be expected to act professionally and remain impartial, but, well, we all know that doesn’t always happen.
    As much as I despise the Red Sox (still bitter about last year…), I ADORE Jon Lester. I’m a sucker for a great comeback story, plus he seems like a sweet kid… why am I calling him a kid, anyway? He’s older than I am.
    Kylie —

  8. Jane Heller

    Lester is not only a really impressive pitcher who’s come back from cancer and been an inspiration to tons of people, but you’re right, Kylie – he doesn’t have the arrogant, smirky attitude of Beckett and Papelbon. He’s definitely not on my hate list.

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