Actually, what the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim demonstrated tonight against the Red Sox was too-small ball. They couldn’t catch the ball (I’m talking about you, Mr. Blinded-by-the-Lights, Gary Matthews Jr). They couldn’t hit the ball (I’m talking about you, Mr. 0-for-4, Chone Figgins). And they couldn’t run the bases (I’m talking about YOU, Mr. I-Should-Have-Been-Lifted-for-a-Pinch-Runner, Vladie Guerrero).
Oh, Vlad. What happened to you? You used to be so trim and athletic when you were with Montreal.
Then you moved to the Angels and fell for their nachos with cheese, I guess. Now look at you. So porky.
What’s more, you made such a bonehead move, trying to go to third on Hunter’s pop-up. Haven’t you ever seen THIS?
That’s what your coach was telling you to do if you’d bothered to look. Oh, well. The rally monkey doesn’t really have magical powers, does it.
Yes, of course I grudgingly tip my cap to Jon Lester for an outstanding performance. And to Manny Ramirez Jason Bay for driving in those handy runs.
Speaking of Jason, there’s one more thing I’d like to get off my chest tonight. In TBS’s pre-game coverage of Dodgers-Cubs, Dennis Eckersley said on national TV that Manny was a “bad guy” and Bay was a “good guy.” Is that was a color commentator is supposed to do before a major league baseball playoff game? Engage in character assassination?
It’s true that Manny shoved the Red Sox’s traveling secretary and slapped Youkilis in the dugout (or maybe I have these backwards and he shoved Youkilis and slapped the traveling secretary). And far be it from me to stick up for even a former Red Sock. But maybe, Dennis, you shouldn’t be throwing stones. I seem to remember you had “issues” of your own.
And so we move on to Day 2 of the division series tomorrow after the Phillies, Dodgers and Red Sox won their games today. Will the Rays handle the White Sox or vice versa? Honestly? I just wish the Yankees were in it.