Taking the Yankees to the Movies

Since there was no game tonight, I decided
not to sit around watching the Red Sox beat up on Toronto. So
I went to see the new Coen brothers movie, “Burn After
Reading.” I thought it was boring – with the exception of
Brad Pitt, who’s hilarious as a dimwitted gym rat. At some
point I zoned out and spontaneously started casting different
Yankees in the parts of the actors. ***Spoiler Alert!*** I
picked Johnny Damon for the Brad Pitt role (well, Johnny’s
kind of goofy). A-Rod got George Clooney’s part as the guy
who cheats on both his wife and his girlfriends (enough
said). Andy Pettitte stepped in as the wholesome,
good-natured manager of the gym. Mussina landed John
Malkovich’s part as the intense CIA agent who’s writing his
memoirs. And Joe Girardi was an easy choice for the CIA boss
who just wants to bury the dead bodies and pretend
everything’s fine. As the credits rolled and it was time to
leave the theater, I had to laugh at my pathetic self. I
mean, it was just one rained out game and yet there I was,
going through withdrawal. I guess I missed Yankees baseball
so much I had to drag the players to the movies with me. I
REALLY need to prepare myself for the end of the season – and



  1. PAUL

    Your reaction to “Burn After Reading” sounds eerily similar to my fiancee’s reaction to another Coen brothers film, “No Country For Old Men”. While Tommy Lee Jones was in the middle of one of his soliloquies of the plight of an old-town guy in this violent, difficult to understand world, she zoned out too and thought it was boring. It just makes me think of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer from the old SNL skits: “I’m just a caveman and your world frightens and confuses me…”

  2. Jane Heller

    I respectfully disagree with your fiancee, Paul. I loved “No Country for Old Men!” Very dark movie but I was riveted and thought the performances were outstanding, including Tommy Lee.

    Today, between games, I went to a screening of a movie that comes out next week, I think. It’s called “Blindness” and talk about dark. Yikes. I won’t even begin to go into details because the plot is so depressing. The Yankees are depressing me enough.

    – Jane

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