Why am I blogging?
In May of 2007, when the Yankees were in last place, I couldn’t take it. All the losing was killing me, keeping me up at night, making me snap at complete strangers, giving me a really bad headache. One night, after a humiliating interleague loss against the Mets, I stormed into my office and wrote an article about divorcing the Yankees. The grounds? Mental cruelty. I didn’t have a blog then, so I vented to the New York Times, which published my article. (You can read it here.) As a result of that article I landed a book deal for a nonfiction account of what it really means to be a fan. It’s called “Confessions of a She-Fan” and it’ll be out in February.
Now that I’ve finished it, I’ve been feeling desperate to be in a community of Yankee fans – people to commiserate with and celebrate with. Writing books is a solitary business. You basically sit in a room all day by yourself, wondering why in the world you didn’t pick another line of work, waiting for your publisher to call with news about something (your manuscript, your cover, your sales). I’m hoping that blogging will fill the void and distract me from checking my hourly ranking on amazon and the occasional snarky review.
Yes, it’s late in the season, but today’s game was a revelation. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to beat a team not named the Mariners or Orioles. I’ve been second-guessing Girardi all year – from not starting Kennedy because it might rain, only to use him in relief…to resting Damon when we desperately needed his hot bat…to giving non-answers to questions about players injuries. But he looked like a genius today, juggling the bullpen and sending Giambi up to pinch hit. Taking the finale against the Red Sox wasn’t as satisfying as sweeping them would have been, but it was sweet nevertheless.
Do the Yankees have a prayer of making the postseason? I gave up on them last year and vowed I wouldn’t do it again. But it’s looking bleak. Seriously. A.J. Burnett and Roy Halladay loom this weekend. My heart tells me the Yanks can pull off a miracle comeback, but my husband says I’ve been drinking the Kool Aid.
Confessions of a She-Fan 
Nice to have another writer here on MLBlogs, especially one that’s a Yankee fan. I have never given up on the Yanks… until this season. Deep down I’m still hoping they make a miraculous comeback, but I can’t say that out loud without sounding insane. I still watch nearly all the games because it’s hard to stop. Though their performance this season makes me want to haul something out the window, it’s like seeing the aftermath of a crash on the highway… just can’t keep your eyes away. Plus, I know I’ll be upset with myself throughout the winter when I’m dying to see a Yankee game but have to settle for the Yankee Classics on YES every so often, where you already know the outcome of the game. Though I’m mentally prepared right now to deal with a year without postseason fever [the first time since I’ve been a fan] the great thing about baseball is it’s unpredictability. Right when you think you’ve got it figured it out it says: not so fast. Hopefully the Yanks can shock the world. If they do I’ll bow down to them.
Vanessa – http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com
Vanessa,
I so hear you on the giving up thing, but I just can’t. I’ll be watching tonight, train wreck though it may be. It’s too depressing not to watch, knowing the clock is ticking and we’re probably looking at a fall without Yankees baseball. Don’t know what I’ll do with myself, since I don’t get the YES Classics here in California, only the games themselves on the Extra Innings package. I mean, how do we prepare ourselves to watch Angels-Cubs? Angels-Diamondbacks? Angels-Dodgers? (Notice I’m not allowing for the possibility that the Red Sox will get in. And the Rays? Nah.) Anyhow, I’m praying for a miracle until the math says it’s over. Nice meeting you by the way!
Jane
I’ll be watching tonight as well. Even though I don’t want to, considering every game the Yanks find a way to upset the game of baseball, it’s almost become a ritual to tune in every day. I stop watching baseball usually when the Yanks are eliminated. I bare to see another team crowned, but as you said, I’m hoping for that miracle here too. I don’t think the Red Sox have it either, however, I’ve been pretty impressed by the Rays. I thought for sure that the winning would cease from them eventually but they’ve held on. I hate the Angels so if they get eliminated first round I’ll throw a party. Nice meeting you as well. Keep up with the blogging. I think all blogging is keeping all the Yankee fans on here from venting in other ways that might cause physical harm to themselves lol.
– V